OOM #7 – The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994)

The October Overlook Madness doesn’t stop! Not even in Valdivia one can stop the madness that is the horror films that we have to review. Beware, might be the first day to see something special! Who knows! It can always be a surprise what could happen in Valdivia, for example, today a screening was cancelled because of technical problems. Woo Hoo! Good times!

And what can you say. I did have time to watch and write about this movie, hey, it’s not all lost! Let’s be glad to have one more day of written reviews instead of the surprise I’ve been teasing like a mofo since we started this countdown of horror films. Maybe you’ll see it this week!

Snark aside, must say that the movie of today is one that I kinda expected though not in this form or in this particular countdown, and in a way it’s something I dreaded. Again, we make a huge jump, due to the random nature of this year’s Cinemassacre’s Monster Madness, jumping from a classic Universal Horror film of 1941 to a shitty independent sequel (fourth in the original series) made in 1994 and then released theatrically in 1997. More on the woes and pains of ‘The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ (1994) can be watched in the amazing video by James Rolfe, which you can see here.

Me? Well, I’ll just go ahead and watch this messed-up train-wreck of a movie and let’s hope it doesn’t blow my brains out.

Oh, boy, well that sure was something special. First, some history, I must say that ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ (1974) is a masterpiece and among the best horror films ever made, if it’s not already in the best 10 horror films, as it manages to get you sick and at the same time, and it’s also one of the best films period, without questions asked, there’s some kind of anarchic way of telling a story through the sick imagery and the movements of that inebriated camera.

The sequels are another story, something completely different. ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2’ (1986) is still good on its own, a film well worth watching, hilarious on its own, and at the same time nasty in its horror and gore, the performance of Hooper and the rest of the cast is amazing, and the presence of Tobe Hooper behind the camera shows in this film. On the other hand, ‘Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ (1990) throws any kind of good (or bad) taste that the original films had and makes it something weirdly commercial, tame and above all badly made. It’s nothing like we’ve seen so far: it’s clean and slick, a bad choice and a worse movie. Now, this… this is something different.

‘The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ (1994) is literally a rape of the franchise. It uses what’s been stablished, changes it around, makes it something modern and then just makes bad choice after bad choice so it becomes one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my life. Leatherface is some sort of transsexual being that tries really hard to be a woman of sorts, with the worst kind of makeup and the worst version of this iconic creature ever put to film. The problem is also that Leatherface is almost nowhere to be seen, and the violence never appears and this movie, and whenever it happens it’s almost always the worst, most puerile and ridiculous form of violence that one can think of: planes chasing ala ‘North by Northwest’ (1959), car chases, hits in the head that have no later repercussion, the classic twists of Leatherface this time taken to the most incredible turnout, with the most improbable screams and the funniest most awful shot you could ever dream of.

There’s not much more to say that hasn’t been said before, this film is pure unabashed dreck shitpile. It shouldn’t exist and I don’t care who says it, it’s shit and no one should ever see it.

2/10

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