OOM #25 – AVPR: Aliens vs Predator – Requiem (2007)

Hello everyone, this time I can say that finally I have a complete schedule of what we’re going to see in the next days until the 31st and I can say that it’s pretty crazy, ecclectic and incredible, so save up some awesomeness for the next days that come with great stuff for all of you, reviews of crazy new films and as always a final visit to the Cinemassacre’s Monster Madness of James Rolfe, that today made a short video review of the last (finally) film of the Alien series, here you go. My review of this film can be read now.

I really don’t want to write about this movie. It’s just awful. I could barely see a thing in it, it’s not a moody piece, it’s not horror, it’s just not being able to fucking see what’s going on in my screen that makes me go crazy. Also, the fact that the movie just wants to be constant fan service makes it unwatchable at times, you are just waiting long enough for the next money shot, the next bloody death, the next gross thing, the next fight between a predator and an alien, and the next appeareance of the supposedly cool concept of the Predalien, something that would actually be cool if we could actually SEE the fucking thing. It’s obnoxious how they waste the fact that they have some (not all) practical effects for the creatures and they never show them, I don’t care if it’s in full light, that’s not what I want and you know that, I’m a fan of ‘Alien’ (1979) (this week I’ve done nothing but guarantee a soon rewatch of that gorgeous film) and I love the mood that the film obtained, and we saw glimpses, enough of them, on the creature, but the fact was that when we saw the creature entirely, we were already scared about it, and seeing it in full light was even Scarier. The filmmakers that made this dud were just looking for the cool effects, the rain, and thinking that if they imitate the supposed dark ambience of the first film, it would be alright, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t work, the fights are too dark, specially between the creatures, shame that’s what we paid to see in the screen.

I just don’t care anymore, I’ll be really angry if another film in the Alien franchise is done by any other than the people that made them great, this was done almost on fan service mode by a bunch of nobodies with no real screen presence. The actors are awful and every situation with any human being in this movie is just really hard to sit through, there were a couple of moments unintenionally funny that should’ve been emotionally wrecking. Oh, and let’s talk about the fact that this movie kills more kids and babies than Hitler did in the whole Holocaust, and the fact that the movie ends with a very fascist tone with the bombing of the entire city in which it takes place (oops spoilers, WHO CARES), it doesn’t feel nihilistic, it just feels mean-spirited and with a single phrase to make it worth it, as if it was the phrase that everyone was waiting for so a bombing was felt as adecuate: ‘we’re just following orders’. That’s such a northamerican way to do the things that it irritates me. There are some interesting elements here and there, but this is a dreck that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone, not even to my enemies.

4/10

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