(Chile 2012 100m) Cine Hoyts La Reina
p Miguel Asensio d Nicolás López w Nicolás López, Guillermo Amoedo c Antonio Quercia ed Diego Macho s Manuel Riveiro
a Ariel Levy, Andrea Velasco, Lorenza Izzo, Nicolás Martínez, Paz Bascuñán, Claudia Celedón, Ramón Llao, Julio Jung, Liliana Ross, Ignacia Allamand, José Martínez, Carolina Paulsen, Felipe Avello, Faloon Larraquibel, Matías López, Jose Martínez, Nicolás Martínez, Eli Roth, Luis Tosar, Elisa Zulueta
In 2010 something started, Nicolás López managed to fund, write and direct a movie so cheap that when he released it into theaters he won so much money that a sequel was inmediatly made, using the same yet more exploitative method to fund and go on to sell the film itself to the audience that was already wanting to see it, and while released in a film festival in 2012 and released to the public in 2013, it is certainly not the low point of the trilogy (that would be the first sequel) nor its brightest (that would still be certain moments of the first original film), it still maintains a mediocrity that can make it win big bucks and keep on making the same system and way of directing films that not only exploits the people and the audiences using crude jokes and obnoxious product placement, as well as maintaining a low bar in terms of script-writing, framing and audiovisual narration. It should be clear starting this time that this movie doesn’t have a plot because the conflict is non-existant, in some way the people in the film seem more conflicted with themselves and their own life from even before the film starts, there’s not a moment in this film where I was invested or interested in these characters, and let’s not even talk about the incredible amount of dislike that I have for everyone in this movie, and that’s because of script tricks that are so wrong and devilish that it makes me want to cry and cry over and over again, just because you can’t be that stupid, cruel or just… a nasty person overall for writing those dialogues or events.
The thing is that our protagonist, played by Ariel Levy, manages to be one of the most disgusting people in existence, and the filmmakers behind this want us to feel certain sympathy to this character, and how does he do that? By framing his couple and wife to be one of the biggest monsters in film history just because she makes supposedly called ‘boring’ movies and she acts in the television, as if her success was uncalled for, as if our protagonist deserved the success that she is having, he obviously doesn’t like what she is doing for one particular reason: she kisses the other actors of the television series while in home they haven’t had sex for the past 10 months or so… so, obviously we have to go all ‘awwww’ on the poor protagonist because he doesn’t have enough sex in his life, and we have a few cheap jokes regarding masturbation, you know, the staple of the auteur Nicolás López. So, with her so called immature behaviour regarding her supposed family duties, and while our protagonist is a complete idiot blindfolded by machism and the stupidity that was brought out due to the written word of the script, we end up with a turn-around, he finally realizes that he’s been a dipshit! Wow! He says he wants to change, he knows that she has been a sweet to him for the past months (due to a reason that I will not spoil, but when it happened I said out loud ‘You gotta be fucking kidding me’) and that he is sure that she will be a great star in the future, but oh, you think that would make things better for the movie? No, when he says that, she wants to divorce him… why is that? She says that she is tired, that the relationship and marriage didn’t work, oh, but what is that Mr. López? What scene came before this one? Oh, right, one where she fucks the producer of her TV show.
You just hate women, don’t you?
I mean, come on, at least simulate that you are not doing these movies out of fucking spite for them, you just have to take a hard look at the movies twists and turns and just find for yourself the opinion of the movie on women: they are only good for sex, they don’t really care about children, they are whores, they are oportunistic, they are shit compared to the men (and even to the semi-stereotypical gay couple are better than women, because they stay together for the most part of the movie no matter what happens). Nevertheless, there is a moment in the movie where everything changes, well, kind of, there’s a moment near the end where the film makes some decissions to be kinda appealing, there is some stupendous acting from one certain performer (Elisa Zulueta, who deserves her own movie with the character she plays here, but completely unrelated to anything that happens in this movie) elevates this movie to something, but López still manages to sabotage these moments by putting its juvenile humour in there, spoiling all the fun and good that could’ve been in there. You know what? I can see a good movie behind all this mess of disgusting double-morals and disgutsing moments, I wish I edited this movie, I really do, I could take away all those moments, change the order of a couple of scenes, it wouldn’t be a masterpìece, but it wouldn’t be shameful to the actual state of chilean cinema. Is this the kind of cinema we want? The one that alienates all other kinds of cinema under the concept of economical success? No, we want language, we want theory, we want morality, we want fun, above all we want fun, and no, mr. López, jokes about infanticides, masturbation and torture aren’t fun.